Here is the second in our series–in which we see more of the awfulness a writer can achieve if she truly applies herself.
Night of Endless Sadness
by Sapphire Hotlips (also known as Marie Guenette)
How could he betray me like this? Oh sorrow, great sorrow! My heart is broken, I feel empty, like a hollow object. That isn’t filled with stuff. The tears fall from my eyes in an endless stream like a waterfall.
My boyfriend cheated on me. At a party. With another girl. Has anyone ever suffered as much as I am suffering now? I think not. I’ll never love again! I walk out of the room I caught him in, mascara all over my face like a river.
Then I walk quickly and with alacrity over to the red, big, glass, and massive punch bowl. Then, I see this guy. He smells so heavenly, I can smell his scent better than all the other scents in the room. He looks like one of those guys on the cover of romance novels, with giant, rippling, totally awesome muscles and a white smile. I look at my reflection in the mirror. I see the same girl I always have, big blue eyes, straight blond hair, and perfect teeth. I wonder what I did to deserve being hurt so. Then I think about the guy again. Who is he? I have to know. With his totally rocking bod, it could totally be love at first sight. Then, I think about maybe going to talk to him. Then, I bite my lip and sigh. Then , I think about him some more. Then, I think about how totally awful Tammy King looks in that dress. Then, somebody taps my shoulder, breaking me out of my reverie. Then, I turn.
Then I see him. It’s the guy. You know, the one that smells good. He smells so good, like some awesome, spicy, woodsy, addicting, amazing cologne. It’s not like any other cologne I’ve smelt before. It’s so overpoweringly amazing that I can’t think of anything else. Scent, scent, scent. Scent.
“Hi” he then says, his voice, deep, low, and growly, like some snarling, raging, panting, jungle beast. He still smells delicious. And has totally awesome arms.
Then, we totally talk for a whole five minutes. I totally think we’re in love. I can’t even remember why I was so sad anymore. Ohmigod, he smells so good and he is so hot! Scent!
Truly Awful Stories #2